Monday, March 31, 2008

The Major Flaw in all Coaching and Personal Development

People who like the book or movie The Secret are often those who are willing to pay for different kinds of coaching or other personal development classes or seminars. I have paid for some myself, and my wife has paid for quite a few different ones in an effort to improve her business. To be willing to pay for such things is a very good thing.

But I have been noticing something a little disturbing in all of these. . .

By and large, I mean generally, they HAVE NOT worked for us. That is if you define "working for you" as being able to get the kinds of results that the marketing of all these kinds of programs says you can get. It just has not happened for us (yet), but it is not for lack of trying.

Here is a dirty little secret that they do not want you to know: The Personal Development and Coaching industry is the only industry on Earth where the sellers can charge a lot of money for attendance, and yet take absolutely *no* responsibility for the results of what they teach.

My wife especially had had at least seven different coaches in the last four years.

And none of them helped her to increase her business.

And all of them wanted their $350.00 a month, up front. One wanted 12 months up front.

Your conclusion to this data may be that she must not have done what they said.

Well she did do what they said. Exactly what they said.

Well perhaps she did not understand it.

Possible, but who is in charge of making sure she understands it?

Or, best one of all, perhaps she just has the wrong vibration and as such she drove her own business away.

Well, that is certainly possible.

Are you noticing any pattern here?

The Coaches all charged at least $350.00 a month and in some cases much more.

None of them helped her.

None of them took the least bit of responsibility that she did not increase her business results. Notice how all the failure possibilities were her fault.

If this happened in any other industry, it would not be tolerated. I run a computer business. Let's say that I offer you a deal where I charge you $350.00 a month to keep your computers running smooth, fast and virus free. Price seems pretty high you think but it might be worth it if the worry about the computers were taken away.

But here is the best part. By your paying me $350.00, you get to come to my seminar, and to participate in my conference calls, I will teach you how to keep your computers running smooth! Well that's great, except perhaps you were thinking I was going to do that fixing part.

But here is the better than the best part (for me at least). If you fail to keep your computers running smooth after all the great information that I give you, then it will be your fault! My contract with you says that I still get paid even though you failed to fix your computers. Maybe you just do not have the right "computer vibration", how can I be responsible for that?

I doubt you would do this deal in a million years, and yet thousands of people make this same kind of deal every day when they hire a coach or sign up for a personal development seminar of some sort. The secret here is that I know how to troubleshoot computers, and troubleshooting is a talent that you have or you don't. If you don't, it's hard to imagine how anyone could teach it to you. And yet my marketing would say that since I have 17 years experience, I am the master teacher. And in fact I have taught it to others in such a way that they greatly improved; but they had some talent to start with.

Unfortunately, some of the absolute worst purveyors of this problem are the very teachers that are in the movie The Secret. Bob Proctor is currently advertising a program that includes dinner at his house for $12,500.00. The James Ray harmonic wealth weekend is about $997.00. If you want to learn from the "eminent" (as described by Rhonda) Dr Tony Quinn, you can attend the Educo seminar for 18,000 British pounds, which is well over $35,700.00 USD at exchange rates in place on 3-31-2008.

You know what? I know at least two people (not me) who have attended this Educo seminar. The seminar did not help them build their business in any way; and once the seminar is over, Dr. Quinn will not so much as talk to them on the telephone. You would think that after paying someone that kind of money that they would be willing to talk to you on the phone, but in the case of Dr. Quinn you would be wrong on that.

Now in all fairness to Dr. Quinn, I know of another Educo attendee who took the materials learned there and discovered oil in Belieze. I am not saying that there is not value in what he is teaching, I am saying that there is no way to know going in if what he is teaching will help you or not, and that is a pretty darn expensive gamble there. You could do better in Vegas.

There is an easy solution to the problem, but it will be VERY hard to find someone who will do this.

Only hire a coach who is paid a percentage on your increased business.

Quack coaches will of course want no part of this, because their living is earned from people paying them who do not yet know that they are quack coaches. Oh and do not forget the 30 day notice clause, you will pay for at least one more month even after you quit coaching with them.

Experienced coaches would say that this is not fair to them, because they cannot control what another person does. There is some merit to this argument, but they way things currently stand they have no skin in the game at all, and no real incentive to help someone succeed. They are typically good enough at other kinds of marketing that they do not need word of mouth.

Here is an example of another industry that does better.

Lawyers will take cases on contingency. This means they only get paid if you win. It's a win win deal. You do not pay if you lose, and they still win because they charge more on the contingency than they would for strait time. You also have the option of strait time, it's your choice.

Another example. The property tax consultants in my county will help you dispute your taxes, and they charge 50% of your savings. It saves you a lot of time. If you do not save any money, then they do not get paid.

Why won't the personal coaches and the seminar people do the same thing? I would be willing to give a coach 50% of my increased business (above an agreed upon level set going in) for all the time I coached with them plus 6-12 more months after that. If they really helped me to increase my business, then they would stand to make a lot of money, as would I, and that is the whole point. If they failed to help me increase my business, they get nothing.

As it should be, IMHO. Your coach needs to have some skin in the game. I guess that a hybrid deal could be worked as well, partial up front fee and rest based on results.

So here is what I suggest: Until you find a coach who is willing to have skin in your game, just buy the book. You have all the time you need to understand what is said, and if it does not help you, then you are only out the cost of the book; and not even that if you got it at the library.

Good reading!

Joseph

P.S. To the legitimate coaches out there who really do care and who bust your butt to get results for your clients, first of all where are you? Have not found any of you in at least 10 attempts. To you I apologize if my broad stroke paints your business sour. Please leave comments on this post explaining in detail why you would not be able to work on a contingency basis, because you may have valid arguments that I have not considered. Thanks in advance! --- Joseph

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Three Most Important Words in The Secret ??

If you were to pick the three word phrase that contains the most important message in all of the book or the movie The Secret, what would it be?

Your first guess might be "Follow Your Bliss", and that is an extremely good guess. Who would have thought that one simple three word phrase could communicate so well what we should do that will bring us to the magic of life.

But did you think of this one, said almost in passing by James Ray, where he said you've got to get really clear.

First of all, do we even know what this really and truly means?

So to help you to fully grasp the concept being presented here, I have to share a little history with you.

You were a very powerful attracting being prior to your life here that you know. When you came here you were disconnected from your previous power in two distinct ways. . .

1. You passed through a "veil of forgetfulness". Because of this you have no memory of your life previous and no memory that you even had a life previous.

2. The link between your conscious mind (where you are completely in control of the action) and your subconscious mind (which does all the attracting and has all of the real power) was abstracted. This means that generally there is a disconnect between the two, and that disconnect can really make it difficult for us to attract as well as we used to (I mean in the sense of attract what we want: we are attracting things we want and that we don't want all the time).

WHY were you disconnected from your real power in these two distinct ways? Well, that is a completely different discussion that I do not have time to get into in this posting, but it sufficeth me to say that there was a reason for it, and it is a very good reason.

So if you find yourself "attracting by default" or attracting wildly with seemingly little control over it, then WELCOME! You have reached planet Earth. It was meant to be this way to start, and it will ever be this way until we learn and understand some very specific truths about our own existence. Oh, and that part about 98% of the subconscious programs that run (or ruin) your life being put there before you were 2 . . . That was also part of the same plan. You had no control whatsoever over what programs were put in there.

So here is what happens. We look at the things we are attracting, especially the ones we are complaining about, and we have watched or read The Secret. Now we understand that we need to change what is going on in our own head before we can change the conditions around us.

But guess what? Changing your conscious thoughts IS NOT ENOUGH to create the real change!

I will say it again . . . it is NOT ENOUGH. The reason why is because the change we have made to our conscious thoughts has not made it to our subconscious mind, and so our subconscious mind continues to operate as before and we continue to get the same results that we got before.

But that's not fair! Who ever said life was . . . :-)

No, there is an additional step required before any real change happens. Your new thoughts must be introduced to your subconscious mind; and this is not necessarily a strait forward process.

And yet try this experiment with me, which will only work if you are about 35 or older. I will start a phrase that was on a TV commercial. This is a TV commercial that has not been on the air for at least 30 years now. See if you can complete the sentence:

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, ____ ____ _____ ______ ______ ______ !

There is a 99% chance that you knew the answer (which is posted at the bottom of this posting for those who are curious). My question for you would be: Why do you know that ??

Were you *trying* to learn it? NO. Did you even care to learn it? NO. Are you mad at me now because you cannot get that stupid jingle out of your mind now? YES.

Sorry about that, had to be done. We know how you learned it. You learned it through a process that is called Spaced Repetition. The combination of the words with the music created a medium where the message could, over time, with repetition, be pushed down to your subconscious; where you have immediate recall of it even 30 YEARS later. That's a hint of how powerful the subconscious is. Notice you did not need the music to recall it, that was only a transport mechanism to get it to your subconscous in the first place, and is not required afterwards.

So it becomes clear that nothing really changes in a big way until you can get something new into your subconscious. So how do you do that?

I wish I could tell you, but I do not entirely know myself. If I did I would have already made some major changes to my world.

But I do have some hints to share that may be helpful, and they are based on quite a bit of research in the movie The Secret and outside of it.

The first thing is the James Ray quote, you have to get really clear. This means that you have to expend mental energy to put the thing you are wanting in your mind as much as possible. Now understand that you will not be able to keep it there 100% of the time. In fact if you could keep it there even 10% of the time I would have to say that is really great work! You create vision boards and play movies in your mind, add sound and even smell if possible, all of which to further ingrain the image in your mind. One day I mean to try singing an affirmation to see if it is more powerful when music is added.

So here is the part that I do not fully understand, but I *think* what happens is that every now and again the pipe between the conscious and the subconscious clears up a bit and the materials in the conscious transfer to the subconscious. When this happens the subconscious will rewrite programs based on the new data that has been provided. So the reason for keeping what you want in your mind as much as possible is so that it will be there when the pipe opens up.

In the movie, Jack Canfield says that when he walks in nature that seems to open the pipe some for him. Some others say that meditation can open the pipe some. The point ot understand here is that what works for Jack Canfield may or may not work for John Doe. Because of this fact I would advise against paying anyone any amount of money so that they could tell you how to get in touch with *your* subconscious. I mean how could they really know that ?? Answer is that they cannot, they can only tell you what worked for them, and it may or may not work for you. But they will not give you a refund if it does not work for you, will they?

So we get really clear. Really clear about what we are wanting. Really clear combined with feelings on the good side of the emotional guidance scale.

We do this at spaced intervals; and as we continue to do this then it becomes only a matter of time before the new thoughts can get into the subconscious to help rewrite some of those programs.

And then our world can change in a big way!

At least that is how I think it works.

Would anyone like to confirm based on your own experience?

(Plop Plop Fizz Fizz; Oh What a Relief it is! --- This jingle for Alka Selzer played extensively in the 1970s on TV commercials, but has not ever played since to my knowledge)

Joseph

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Do -- Have -- Be? The world wants to know . . .

One of the authors that Rhonda drew material from for The Secret was Charles F. Haanel. I wish to spend this article discussing this quote from one of his works:

We must BE before we can DO, and we can DO only to the extent which we ARE, and what we ARE depends on what we THINK.

Put in another form: THINK --> BE/ARE --> DO. Or, "What we BE is what we ARE".

Got it?

I doubt it.

Hardly anyone has really figured this one out. WE are all mostly still believing that the process is DO, HAVE, BE; As in what you do determines your results, which determines what you have, and then what you have or what you have accomplished already says who you are.

It says we are defined by our actions, which seems true at first glance, but the way it should be is that our actions are defined by us . . .

Based on who we are.

Yes, that is the great issue we all face . . . we spend all our time on DO without any pause for THINK. Perhaps we have all been reading the book: Do and Grow Rich?

Certainly not. The book is THINK and Grow Rich, by Napolean Hill, 1937.

Wallace Wattles offers what might be considered a cynical viewpoint on this, but he basically says that men will endure all kinds of hardships, walk miles and miles through the snow up hill both ways, and basically do everything possible to stop himself from having to exercise some mental energy, to stop himself from having to think.

You could argue that this is a good thing. Someone needs to work on the factory floor. There are thousands of mindless jobs out there that someone needs to do.

But it does not have to be you!

So yes, we need to think. But we need to think in terms of what we are really wanting, and what we are really wanting will come to us via what we are creating.

And 999 times out of a 1000, you will not get to be that creative while working for someone else.

No, this needs to be YOUR creation, not someone else's.

Keep your day job (at first); but go to work immediately thinking about what you would love to create. It could be an eBook, a business, a business system. Perhaps a beautiful painting or video. Perhaps a beautiful or a rockin' song. Not sure what to do?

What are your talents?

So everyone has at least one talent. We will call yours (your first one) talent X.

So takes some time to BE (in your mind) someone who serves others and provides value by being an X'er. An X'er is someone who serves the public with talent X.

Put your thought behind How can I be a better X'er? How can I provide X value to more people than I currently reach? What can I create that is in the true spirit of X? How is the best way for me to get paid for sharing X with the world? How big will X business need to be before I can do it full time, because it is what I love to do?

A quick word for any who believe that you should hobby your X talent or that it is more spiritual to share your X talent without getting paid for it. I know you were taught this by your parents or you learned it at church. I do not wish to disagree with your parents or your church; but please consider the following . . .

1. And by the sweat of your face you will eat your bread all the days of your life; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. Yes the Lord did say this to Adam. ----- We are meant to be paid for our work that provides value to others. We are not meant to volunteer all of our time for free.

2. Being paid for what you are creating will not stop you from volunteering your time for free to other worthy causes. In fact when your creation gets big enough and it can be safely be run by others on the payroll, you will have a lot more time to volunteer for worthy causes, as well as the money to do it!

3. The happiest folks are those who make their living doing what they love. If you are not ever paid for doing what you love, you will never be able to spend that much time doing it!

4. In conclusion, you must be paid for your creation, or you will have difficulty finding the time to build it bigger. The "magic of life" is not for the hobbyest.

So here is what will unavoidably happen as you put thought energy into how to be an X'er:

-- You will start to get inspiration about actions to take. You actions will be marketing actions and technical actions. At first, and always, the marketing actions are most important.

-- Your continued thought and mental energy will put the Law of Attraction to work for you. You will attract the money, the people, the books, the mentor, or whatever else it is that you need in order to build your X creation.

-- Your actions will set up business systems that allow you to get paid for providing value to others. Once the initial system is set up, then your (inspired) actions will be on how to market the X to a wider audience, and how to train others to help you with X and provide even more value to even more people.

So unlearn the DO -- HAVE -- BE mentality, it may have got you to where you are today, but it will not likely get you to the next great amazement.

Learn THINK -- BE/ARE -- DO.

You get to decide what you will be with your own thoughts. The actions will follow and they will be inspired.

WAIT for the inspiration, but do not stop the mental exercise while waiting. Put the thought energy to work, detach from the HOW, and wait for the inspiration.

You do that and you will create something that changes your life, and improves the life of so many others.

I would like to hear what you have created using this process. Leave me a comment!

Joseph

Saturday, March 8, 2008

What does it look like when your moment arrives?

The Book As A Man Thinketh by the author James Allen is not quoted in the movie The Secret, but the book shares a message that is right in line wiht what the movie and book are trying to present. To set up my showing of a great example of someone who completely changed their life by one act of courage, I begin by quoting the following . . . (italics added)

And you, too, youthful reader, will realize the Vision (not the idle wish) of your
heart, be it base or beautiful, or a mixture of both; for you will always gravitate
toward that which you, secretly, most love. Into your hands will be placed the
exact results of your own thoughts; you will receive that which you earn; no
more, no less. Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain,
or rise with your thoughts, your vision, your ideal. You will become as small as
your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration:

In the beautiful words of Stanton Kirkham Davis, “You may be keeping accounts,
and presently you shall walk out of the door that for so long has seemed to you the
barrier of your ideals, and shall find yourself before an audience – the pen still behind
your ear, the inkstains on your fingers – and then and there shall pour out the torrent of
your inspiration. You may be driving sheep, and you shall wander to the city –
bucolic and open-mouthed; shall wander under the intrepid guidance of the spirit
into the studio of the master, and after a time he shall say, ‘I have nothing more to
teach you.’ And now you have become the master, who did so recently dream of 22
great things while driving sheep. You shall lay down the saw and the plane to take
upon yourself the regeneration of the world.”

So consider the case of Paul. A mobile phone salesman living in Wales, he had a dream of something better, but for years had not acted upon it. Had he not had the courage to do what is shown in the following video, he would still be unheard of to this day. The following is an example of what it looks like when your moment arrives, audience included.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA&NR=1

Now if you think that was something; here is a link to the professionals singing the exact same song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDtcidMR_6I&feature=related

I leave it to you to compare how Paul did compared to the undisputed world champions in that sort of thing.

So . . . .

All of us, and that means everyone, has some kind of talent given to them by their creator. All of us get to make the same decision with it as well. We can sell mobile phones, or we can take a huge risk in front of an audience (including TV) of millions, knowing that a failure there would pretty much be a big stumbling block to the further reaching of our dream.

The Universe likes those who are brave enough to take the risk.

Independent of the results.

Now there are people who come on shows like that who really do not have any talent in music at all, and I have observed people laughing at their attempt to sing when they obviously have no talent for it.

But I say this . . . The Universe loves those who are willing to take a risk, and those who are brave enough to go on a show like that and fail miserably are way more likely to eventually be successful in their lives as all of the people who are at home watching their TV laughing at them, who would never do such a thing themselves.

I honor them for having the bravery to try; and when they do figure out where their talent really is, they will jump into it with both feet despite any risks and because of that and their determination to never quit, they will be successful.

Meanwhile the people laughing at them from their couch will still be lauching at someone else.

Take your pick?

Joseph